i've had the time of my life

and i wonder

if you still think Bono writes his songs for you
-Diffuser I Wonder

I am making my way ot of a two day funk. I'm not really sure how I got in this funk, but it's a pretty frustrating one. It's a funk of "I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life and I have no motivation to do anyhting else until I find out". But today I went to class. That's a huge step towards caring about stuff.

I can't say I did any homwork though. It's a good thing that we have an away game this weekend, because I will be spending the entirety of these next few days buried in homework. It's okay though. I'm sort of looking forward to having something to do.

I am also fung shuing my room this weekend. What exactly does this mean in a dorm room? No, I am not buying a waterfall. I am turning my bed so it is not up against the window. I am keeping shades open during the day and closed at night. I am keeping the window open during the day too. all closet doors stay closed at night. The room is staying clean! The TV is covered at night. I might even get a plant. But I have to keep it away from the window or it will suck all the chi away from me.

No, I do not believe in chi and positive light energy. Me and my roommate just feel like redecorating. Why not go with a centuries old style? Who knows? Maybe it will suck the funk right out of here.

but i've heard it all before

now i'm needing something more
a promise is no good if you can't keep it
-Deana Carter Count Me In

Today was a beautiful fall day. It was almost too perfect. I understand that all you anti-cold weather people probably did not enjoy it. But, it was kind of a nice change of pace from shorts and t-shirts to sweaters and scarfs.

Today I also had a major realization. Literally. It was about my major. In my reluctance to leave the training room today, I realized that if I continue this course, in two weeks I will have taken my last sports medicine course ever. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I am absolutely not ready to quit athletic training. I love it so much!

So now I am praying, fiercely. I want nothing but God's will for my life. If that means admitting I was wrong about my future, then I am okay with that. I know that I still want to minister to youth. But thinking back on my days at SHS, Doc constantly ministered to the athletes (youth) at our school. I still very much believe that my heart lies with youth. I have no doubt that I will work with them forever. I am willing to admit that I missed the exact direction that I thought God was pointing me in. That's OK though.

So for now I am praying and seeking, much more carefully this time. Your prayers are appreciated.

So again, today was beautiful. God is really good. My friends and family are great. I am ridiculously blessed.

what's going on inside of me?

i despise my own behavior
this only serves to confirm my suspicions
that i'm still someone in need of a Savior

Well today was pretty boring. Class. Monday Lunch. Class. Class. Graduation Present. Rain. Awesome Family Group. So I'm going to talk about yesterday.

If you think it's hard to entertain a group of college students, you're wrong. All you need are some beach balls, eggs, and jelly beans and you have a happy group of campers. Yesterday we had Freshman Field Day and it was definitely one of the most fun things I have done in awhile. We played simple games like "Keep it Up," "The Human Knot," and "Over Under." But somehow, even a simple egg toss can turn into a lot of fun. Especially when you have friends like mine who think it would be fun to catch an entire egg in their mouth. It exploded. We all almost threw up.

I also found out that my family group brother, Walker, is kind of a beast at cathcing jelly beans in his mouth. we had a jelly bean toss and he caught nine in a row. Never missed one. Jordy and I, on the other hand, were not even successful once. Oh well.

I got to prove my strength in a wheelbarrow contest. I also got to play a give up your body version of Keep it Up. While the other team stood in a circle and lightly tapped their beach ball in the air we were diving and running just to keep ours from hitting the ground. We had way more fun than they did too.

I'm a simple girl. I like simple things. I don't need anything extravagant to make a day incredible. Sunshine and fresh air are good enough for me.

There is a meteor shower tonight. I won't be staying up to watch it. God speed to all of you who do.

we were made to live forever.

we will live forever...


This weekend might qualify as a top 100 weekend. One time Clint Sheppard told me that of all the days you live, your top 100 must be pretty great. I mean really, think about how many days you are alive. Your top 100 must be amazing. Maybe even the top 500.


My incredible friends from high school came to visit. Erika, Emily, and Elizabeth to be exact. Yes I planned for my best friends' names to start with E. They came in on Friday night and left this morning. No tears this time. Just a "see you in a week and a half!"


Friday night we rolled down the Indian mounds, went to see the invisible Mike the Tiger, went to Coffee Call, and saw the Michael Jackson movie. In case you were unsure, he was an odd dude. It was fun. Kind of random but just like old times.


Saturday was all LSU football. Erika, Casey, and I ate free lunch at the BCM and then hung out at the gate. Way later than I am used to of course. And the rest is pure, unadulterated LSU football. Needless to say they all had a blast at the game. I mean really, who wouldn't? Even Emily, the dedicated Bulldog that she is, enjoyed herself. After the game we went to Rebecca's for tacos and acoustic guitar.

Tomorrow I am cooking. Pray for me. Mostly pray for the people who are eating.

bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

when all of a sudden i am unaware
of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

I changed my major today. I know. It's a big deal. I am officially a Communication Studies major. As excited as I am, it was a fairly anti-climactic process.

After getting out of Honors 2000 an hour early, I decided it's time to find 150 Allen Hall and ge tthis over with. I inhaled deeply and pushed open a heavy glass door. I was greeted by a computer cordially asking me to sign in and wait around the hall. Ok....

I sign in, round the corner and let out a little "whoah". Crowding the hall before me are about 25 students. Sitting in chairs or on the floor they all look about as excited as I do. Apparently, it is fairly common for students to change their majors. Who knew?

While waiting on the floor for 45 minutes, I managed to finish a large portion of my biology research project. After I am about ready to leave and try again tomorrow, I hear a vioce call out "Ashley." I look up to see a small blonde woman disappearing into an office. I quickly pack up and attempt to follow the voice into what may or may not be the correct office. Good guess.

I sit down and inform this counselor that I would like to change my major. She asks me my ID number. I quickly recite it, proud to know the nine-digit number by heart. She then asks me what my intended major. I poudly announce that I am going to be a Communication Studies major. She types a few letters and says Ok. That's it? No celebration for a newly directed future? No balloons dropping from the ceiling? Not even a printed piece of paper to document my acheivement? Nope. That's it. Doesn't matter. I'm still excited. Unenthusiastic blonde women can not rain on this girl's parade.

What can, you ask? The red warning at the top of my degree audit say I may or may not graduate in four years.

i will dance, i will sing

to be mad for my King

nothing, Lord, is hindering this passion in my soul

Today I got a little sad. Long story that involves a great friend. But in my sadness I tried to think of who would be best to go to. After careful contemplation of who would best understand and empathize with me, I realized that my Jesus is always ready to listen. Crazy, huh? We spend so much time searching for someone to understand our feelings that we forget about the one who is right there with us.

Tonight I watched the CMA's. I'm not going to lie. I love Taylor Swift. I love how much fun her music is and how much truth she speaks, especially to young girls. But, Entertainer of the Year? Female Vocalist of the Year? Album of the Year? I almost understand the last one.

Did anybody pay attention to her performance at the beginning of the show? How strange that the Entertainer of the Year gave the worst performance of the night. I did appreciate the Kanye jokes. My favorite line from the night:

"Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Kanye. Because cowboys have manners and don't interrupt."

Today was good. The rest of the week will be incredible. Promise. As promised, pictures from Splatter Beat:

don't wanna grow up

i wanna get out
hey, take me away

I love the way plans change. I love the way that living on your own and on campus gives you a million ways to spend your day. For instance, today I was planning on studying, alone, all day. Of course TNT was part of the plan. But I had no idea of anything that would actually happen tonight.

First of all, my solitary studying plans were interrupted by two consecutive texts. One from Blake and one from Emily. Emily asked me if I wanted to study Poli Sci before TNT. Blake asked me if I wanted to study after TNT. Answer to both: YES! I love studying with other people. Especially Poli Sci. Classes like that are so in depth and analytical that it's great to find out how other people understand different ideas.

So me and Emily meet to study in the lobby. Meredith (my lovely neighbor) sits by us and asks me if I want to go to Splatter Beat. I had been wanting to go to this event for a long time. I wasn't sure what it was but i knew it involved paint and white t-shirts. Sold. The three of us decided to go and do Splatter Beat and then go to TNT.

Splatter Beat was incredible. Picture at least 100 college students in white t-shirts. 20 garbage cans with the lids turned upside down filled with paint. Sticks with tennis balls at the end of them. Loud music. Pure joy. It was like we never even left third grade. There was no restraint. People were throwing paint, banging the cans, slipping and sliding, and having a ball. After about 20 minutes of this, we decided to chill. A group of about 10 of my friends were there. We went to TNT covered head to toe in paint. Pictures to come.

After TNT I studied with Blake. I feel really prepared for this test. Let's hope so, considering it's midnight and I am down for the count.

I love my life. I love my school. It's nights like tonight that make me wonder why I even applied to another school.

you're the God of this city

you're the king of these people
you're the Lord of this nation
You Are

I listen to this song and am reminded about God's goodness. In the midst of hurricanes and war and poverty and hunger and shootings and heartache and death and sickness and loss and grief and pain and darkness. God is good. He is always good. Add all of that stuff up and multiply it by infinity a trillion. God can still overcome it all.

How do I know this? What could possibly bring me to this conclusion? Well, I have told you about God revealing Himself to me in so many ways. But tonight I am seeing God through His people. I see Him in my pastor who dedicated his life to a church that could have failed. I see Him in a group of students worshipping Him in a barn. I see Him in a group of moms cooking for a hundred people in an average sized kitchen.

I also see Him in my family group. Do you need to be reminded that God's people are alive and at work? Do you need to see His hands and feet moving on this planet? I have never been so proud to be a part of any group besides this one. Tonight after eating a scumptious meal at Inga's (new fave) we made our way to Wal-Mart. we then proceded to spend between 30 and 50 dollars each to fill a shoebox with toys. As a family group we committed to participate in Operation Christmas Child. Let me just tell you, college students are broke. I was so impressd to see my family willingly give to support those in need. Sometimes as "starving' college students, we forget about the real starving people around this world.

After we bought our supplies, we spent about 30 minutes outside of Wal-Mart collecting shopping carts to put them back where they belong. A small act of service done to show God's love.

All of this was done without a worry or care in the world. One of my brothers had an opportunity for extra credit but chose to stay and keep his B. I have an amazing family here. I have an amazing family in general. But my family group is something else. Funny story. None of us knew each other before joining this group. It was all by chance. Or it was really just all God's plan. I would not trust my future best friends to chance. Never.

Things College Students Still Get Excited About In The Toy Aisle Of Wal-Mart:
-Bop It
-Cowboy Hats
-Foam Swords
-Moon Sand
-Wooden ducks with pull strings
-Old school Woody and Buzz dolls
-Transformers

i've been convincing myself that i'm worthwhile

cause i'm worth what i'll convince myself to be

I love Relient K. I love their new album. I love that song.

This weekend was incredible. Short version: I spent all day Saturday on a ranch in Mississippi with a group of high school and junior high students.

Long version: (You had to know it was coming)

Our band went on a youth group retreat with First Baptist Denham. I drove two other band members our there. We were told to meet at First Baptist Denham at 9:25 sharp so we could leave at 9:30. So we got there at 9:25. However, in true youth group fashion, we left at 10:45. We had a caravan of about 10 cars, vans, and trailors. Stopped at a Pilot gas station. Got kicked out of said Pilot for blocking exits and entrances. Half of our caravan left while the other half gassed up. This proved to be a mistake. You see, this ranch was in nowhere, Mississippi, also known as Magnolia. And when our half of the caravan left, we left the only person who knew where we were going. End result? We ended up getting lost in the middle of the woods on a dirt road. The only thing missing was a flat tire and a serial killer.

We ended up at the ranch at around 1:30 AM. Went to bed and spent a wonderful with a really great group of kids. I was reconvinced that youth ministry is where I will spend the rest of my life. I have such a strong heart for teenagers. I am slowly realizing that I will never be happy doing anything else.

Did I mention our band performed in a barn? This barn actually. It was legit.

arise my love

the grave no longer has a hold on you

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Thursdays? They are basically my favorite day of the week, aside from Saturdays for obvious reasons. Despite waking up at the oh-so-unforgiving 6:30 AM and going to work for four hours, Thursdays have still made thier way into a special place in my heart. Today was an escpecially good one too.

After work, the roomie and I went to Highland Dining for lunch. This place is definitely LSU's best kept secret. After that we still had an hour to kill before class. How did we spend it? I took a nap. Naps are a college student's favorite extra-curricular. Sometimes you just need a little boost in the middle of the day to keep going.

Class was class as usual. Before I forget, did I mention the Yankees won the World Series last night? Oh yes. I sported my Yankees earrings and a big smile today. After class, I headed back to my dorm. Was I skipping my late class? Nope. Cancelled. I'm telling you, today was great.

The afternoon was spent the way all afternoons should be, with an hour of Ellen to start them. Then came some laundry. I planned to watch an old Greek episode while waiting for some clean clothes. I was very rudely interrupted by the most obnoxious fire alarm ever created. Yes, we had our first drill today. It could have been worse. I've heard of 3 AM drills and drills while people were in the shower.

After all that chaos was over, the roomie and I went for another wonderful meal at Highland. The rest of the night, spent watching America's Funniest Home Videos. I would count today as a success. For sure.

The components of a balanced college meal:
-Fried Rice
-Veggie Pizza
-Salad
-Tomato Soup

Lord i'm amazed by You

how You love me


This week has been exceptionally roller-coasterish. Best part? It's only Tuesday. No, this is not Kingda Ka, the rollercoaster that ends before you've even realized it's started. This one is more like an old wooden coaster with a ton of hills that you slowly creep up to and then go plunging down.


The high points of this ride are incredible. TNT and church on Sunday night were great. Also, Biology has been cancelled for the entire week. And, Sociology was cancelled for Thursday. what does this mean? I have three classes for the rest of the week. Three.


The low points? I have a rough draft of a research paper due on Thursday. I'm finding it harder than expected to research my topic. I also have a research paper due in the near future. It's a group project. Enough said?


Tonight I realized that I am on track to having some of the best friends I could ever ask for. As I looked around the BCM tonight I realized how many incredible people God has placed around me. No, I have no best friends just yet. But I will be here for four years (or more) and I can't wait to spend those years with such awesome people. However, I feel I am losing one or two friends from the past. Tip: Do not allow someone to continually hurt your feelings. That is an unhealthy relationship.


Would you like a few things to distract you while you are supposed to be working?
-Facebook. Did I even have to mention it?
-MyLifeIsAverage.com - Always a fan favorite.
-StuffChristiansLike.net - A new favorite of mine.
-Solitaire
-The Sims.

what's that playing on the radio?

why do i start swaying to and fro?
i have never heard that song before...

This blog is dedicated the wonderful Ally George. That girl has my heart.

Today was a very balanced day. I wasn't too busy, too stressed, too distracted, or too lazy. After a fairly extended nap this morning (yes I did say morning) I bucked down and did some homework. Not even kidding. I read, studied, and took a quiz. Don't be too surprised. The semester is ending soon. Grades are kind of a big deal right around now.

However, after all my hard work I got to spend some time with my Savior. Later I watched Holes. Hey, it's the Sabbath. You wouldn't want me to work too hard. Also, Holes is one of my favorite movies of all time. Who doesn't love Shia Lebouf?

Then it was time for church. Amazing, as usual. The Ring just keeps reminding me how good God is. In my opinion, if more churches were like The Ring, less people would be confused about God.

After church I got to watch my Yankees win Game 4 of the World Series. I say my Yankees because I have been a fan since I was 13. How did a sweet southern girl become a dedicated follower if the "Evil Empire"? Well, in 7th grade I met a very cute boy. He loved the Yankees. Wanting to have something in common with him I watched a game of the 2003 ALCS. Aaron Boone hit a walk-off homerun in 12th. The rest is history.

Since that day, I have been to countless Yankees games. I was an employee of Derek Jeter's Turn 2 Foundation. I even got to meet Derek and his entire family. I also get some legit bragging rights if they win this World Series. Did I mention this will be my first time to see them win the World Series as a true fan? Nick Katz, if you read this, thank you!

He is jealous for me

He loves like a hurricane
i am a tree

I feel like if the Beatles wrote Christian music, it would sound something like that. I am a walrus. I am a tree. Same thing right?

In all honesty, this song is probably changing my life. Just a few lines are on repeat in my head:

He is jealous for me...
and i realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me...
and i don't have time to maintain these regrets when i think about the way He loves us...

How insightful. I usually experience a lot of feelings and emotions in this song. Emotions are great. God created them to enhance our life experience. But my relationship with Christ is not based on emotions. It is not even based on faith. I know. Shocking. My relationship with Christ is based on facts. And there are quite a few of those in that song.

"Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." Numbers 34:14

"Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever." Psalms 136:2

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret..." 2 Cor. 7:10

These are Biblical truths. This is what my relationship with Christ is based on. Even when I don't feel Him. Even when my faith is small. Even when all the emotions I can muster up are anger, brokenness, denial, or sorrow. The fact is, My God loves me forever. He is jealous for my heart and my trust. And there is no regret when I am in relationship with Him.

when a nightmare finally does unfold

perspective is a lovely hand to hold

I love those lyrics. When the nightmares in your life come along, keep them in perspective. They probably aren't that big of a deal. Remember all those bad days I had? I don't. I genuinely can't even remember my emotions, feelings, or reasons for those bad days. What do I remember? Hockey games, Saturday nights at Tiger Stadium, reading in the grass.

Today went a lot better than planned. I got a low B on my Sociology test. I finished my writings for Biology only 30 minutes later than I normally go to bed. TNT was fantastic. It was one of those nights where God just speaks straight to your heart.

Lately I have been struggling with fear. I fear being alone. I fear the future. I fear not having any control. But faith can't exist alongside fear. If I have to pick one? FAITH!

I think tonight is my last night of stress this week. Nothing else is due that I can think of. There are no more tests. Now I get to play catch up. Yay!

There are so many thoughts going through my head right now. God is good. You can trust Him. He is jealous for you. He is jealous for your time. Your energy. Your faith. Your trust. All of you!

Reasons my friends are great:
-Candace "Instead of giving you money for your Auburn ticket, I got you a $15 Cane's gift card." You know me well dear.
-Will: "You need a walker?" His way of offering to walk me to the BCM.
-Meredith: "Does my room smell funny?" Glad to know I'm not the only one.
-Casey: "I hate to ruin your hopes and dreams, but you will probably not marry a Jonas brother." Blasphemy

you can have your own set of wings

with your feet on the ground you're a bird in flight
with your fist holding tight to the string of your kite

No joke, I am thinking about getting a kite. I saw some guys flying one on the parade grounds the other day and I was brought back to childhood. I want a cool one though, like in the shape of a dragon or something. With my luck, I'll ge this beautiful kite and the weather will turn grey and gross. It's worth a shot I guess.

Want to know something you spend a lot of time doing in college? Sitting on the ground. In hallways, outside, in the quad, anywhere. Right now, I am sitting in a hallway outside of a class. There is nothing abnormal about this either. We are just a bunch of hobos with laptops that can't bear to stand up for more than five minutes.

Family group was cancelled today. I believe this is God's way of telling me that I need to study for my test tomorrow. So that's the plan. I'm getting into super student mode. My only road blocks, Facebook and the World Series. Facebook is a chronic problem. The World Series will be over in a week or two.

The Yankees won last night. I get full bragging rights until we lose again. Which hopefully won't happen.

doorbell rings 'cause the party's here

when the water's high

when the weather's not so fair
when the well runs dry
who's gonna be there?

No, today I did not drive my car off the side of the road. I also did not find out who my friends are. I did, however, remember why I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.

I have amazing friends at LSU who care about me and even notice when I am gone for more than a day. :) I am amazed at how perfectly LSU fits into my life. It makes me wonder why I even bothered applying anywhere else?

I have an awesome family. My parents do not enjoy watching baseball games. What did we do last night? Watch my beloved Yankees get their butts kicked by the Angels. I have grandparents who will sit and listen to me talk about my life for an entire hour. And it's really not all that interesting.

My friends at home inspired this particular blog. You read a few weeks ago when I talked about not being able to actually come home. But I think I am finding my new place here. It is so great to see my high school friends and not have to be in the high school drama. Also, coming home to a small town kind of makes you feel like a rock star. It's pretty nice.

And to top it all off I have a God who adores me. A God who is writing a romantic, adventurous and, suspenseful comedy for my life. I can't wait to see what's next.

Please don't take this blog as bragging. I got lucky. The people in my life are incredible.

we may lose and we may win

but we'll never be here again
so open up, i'm climbing in

Do the Yankees really think the win will be more satisfying in New York? Is it really worth the trouble?

What is better than being home and watching baseball with the family? Nothing. Well, maybe seeing your best friends in this whole world. The trip up here though, less than desireable.

I wake up and rush to get ready. I am ready to go. Bathed, packed, and fed. However, after I get my Santa Claus bag of laundry and my bank robber duffel bag, I realize I am parked really far away. Sweet. After a long, awkward walk to the car, I'm ready to roll. Start the car, it's kind of shaky. You know how sometimes when a car idles, it sounds like it is struggling for life. That was mine. PS, the check engine light has been on. Forever. At this point, I am going home, no matter what.

My mom has a phobia of bridges. I don't. Or, I didn't. Until today, possibly. I was driving over the Mississippi bridge into Louisiana. Except that there was an excessively wide load at the front of the bridge. Because of this fact, I sat on this bridge for half an hour. That's not so bad. Except that it was pouring down rain with a tornado watch in effect. On top of that, I got to spend this half hour next to an 18-wheeler. Full of cows. Not only was this monstrosity shaking the entire bridge, it was stanking up my car!!

But now I am home. I am watching Dead Poets Society. I am going back to school tomorrow. Yay for LSU football!

your blood speaks a better word

than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth
speaks righteousness for me

Just so you understand the true priorities of a college student, I just spent 20 minutes trying to post a link to this blog on Facebook. Did it work? Of course not.

Today was an emotional rollercoaster. It started out with exhaustion from a wonderful night of studying. Then it moved to panic when I realized I would not have time to study today before my test. At work it evolved into infuriated. I'm trying so hard to be Jesus in my office. Problem is, my boss. That's a whole other blog.

After work, I was pretty apathetic about Poli Sci. I mean, we don't have a test in there today! But that eventually changed into enthusiasm, as it always does in that class. Lunch made me feel rushed, and as I headed to the Health Center, I was distracted by my test. PS, I'm not sick. I am volunteering at the Health Center for Flu Week. The whole time I was there was a mix of anxious, relaxed, and antsy. The relaxed part came when Taylor Swift followed Miley Cyrus on the radio. Does it get much better?

Then I had to walk to my test: PURE DREAD. The whole time during the test, I was very concentrated and calmer than expected, almost a sense of, "Nothing I can do about it now."

The rest of the day is a blur. But, funny thing about my test, the answer to every multiple choice question was D. Well, at least I hope so. Sneaky trick Dr. Ingram. Very sneaky.

Things I learned Today:
-I have a wonderful friend in Ally George.
-The Yankees will not meet Joe Torre and the Dodgers in the World Series.
-Taco Bell tastes better when enjoyed with Jesus-flavored conversation.
-Tests are just tests and are only worth a limited amount of stress.
-My advisor doesn't think I'm cut out for college.

"Share with God's people in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:13

i'm thinking about other things i heard about today

all this week and tomorrow

and how these hands can create some better things a better ring

Life is confusing. One thing I am not confused about, studying. I have been studying for 4 hours. I can't even begin to describe the pounding in my brain. Biology is all I can think about. Hopefully, that sticks until around 2:30 tomorrow. After that, I don't ever want to think about cell structure and function again. Everything is made of cells. They do different stuff. Can we move on please?

Speaking of studying, I got to study in the quad with a friend today. Well, I got to hang out in the quad with a friend. Not a lot of studying was done on my part. But it was beautiful out and very enjoyable.

And to end the night, I submitted a story to mylifeisaverage.com. True story. This happened to me waiting in line for coffee.

"Today I was waiting in line behind a guy wearing an Alex Rodriguez jersey. I live in Louisiana so it's uncommon for me to run into fellow Yankees fans. I said, "I like your shirt." He replied by looking around secretively and then whispering in my ear, "I'm not really Alex Rodriguez. But don't tell anyone." I won't, undercover normal guy, I won't. MLIA

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

on the edge looking over

all i see is a four leaf clover
maybe a sign of things to come

Lately I have been struggling to hear the voice of God. You would think He's a big guy, He would make Himself heard more often. I was not going to put this story on the internet. I'm not sure what was holding me back. It didn't seem like a good idea. But, I have struggled with this idea for a long time (God hearing me and the other way around) that I have to imagine other people go through the same. So take this story as an encouragement. God is still speaking to us.

I woke up Sunday morning about 30 minutes before my alarm. It was quiet, so I decided to spend some time with God. I got past the usual, thanks for waking me up and daily bread stuff pretty early on and quickly dove into the heart stuff. I am wrestling with some issues and trying to let God have my whole heart again. That requires me to give up a lot of stuff and take a lot of steps into the unknown.

I began to pour my heart out to God but felt like it was splashing off the ceiling back onto me. my heart started to cry out accusations: " Why can't I hear you? Can you hear me? Does this even matter? Why aren't you answering me? "

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?"

My alarm went off. I picked up my cell phone and went to turn it off. At the botton of my screen, said the word "Yes." This is not the first time my phone has said this. It is a routine option for when my alarm goes off. But at this moment, the Living God was using this to speak to me. He was telling me, "Yes. I do love you. I am listening. I do hear you. This does matter. You matter."

You might think this is weird, but don't take me for one of those people that take everything as a sign. I know sometimes things just happen. But i know in my heart of hearts that God spoke to me yesterday. In fact, he basically texted me. He knew where I was at and knew I needed to hear straight from Him.

Today was full on sunshine, good friends, and baseball. Does it get better than that? Really don't think so. Life is good. Even though the Yankees lost, I will press on.

Nice Things to do for you Temporarily Handicapped Friends:
-Drive them places.
-Find their crutches after they've been stolen.
-Kick their hurt leg. (that's a joke)
-Listen to their favorite song after they get out of the car.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the Kingdom of God like a little child wil never enter it." Mark 10:15

buddy you're a boy make a big noise

playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
you got mud on your face

Can I just tell you how much I love shuffle on iTunes? It never fails to crack me up.

I have figured out my schedule for next semester. It includes wonderful classes such as yoga and the history of jazz. I can't wait. Believe it or not, this semester is half over. I'm trying to decide whether or not to continue blogging after this semester. I'm thinking the answer is going to be a yes. I like to get my thoughts out in a tangible way. Even if they aren't thoughts about much at all.

Today I brought two of my friends to church with me. Of course it was one of those really intense nights full of people crying at the altar. Honestly, when has anyone visited a church and it wasn't an awkward service? I'll never forget my first visit to Gateway Cathedral when Pastor Jay announced his leaving. Even I cried! But they loved it. There is something about The Ring that really affects people. "He is really doing exactly what God wants him to do." Quote from my roommate about the pastor of that church.

I am falling head over heals for my Jesus. I am realizing his desire to fill every crack, void, gap, and emptiness in my heart. That is a lifechanging thing. All of a sudden, God isn't just in your Bible. He is in your office. He is walking down the street with you. It's amazing.

"God is a verb." Buckminster Fuller

do you know where your heart is?

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

it's not warm when she's away

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Do you ever like to pretend like these songs are written about you? I do. I have no doubt in my mind that people like Bill Withers, Kenny Chesney, and the Jonas Brothers all had me in mind when they wrote these lyrics.

Today was one of those days that could not get any better. The weather was absolutely perfect. Sunshine. Mid 60's. A constant breeze. I just wanted to stay outside the entire day. Then I made a trip to the mall. Bought two new pairs of jeans, both of them the perfect fit. What could be better than that? Great jeans, great weather, great day.

Also, I am going to a hockey game tonight. Who's playing? No idea. Does it really matter? When was the last time I went to a hockey game? Third grade. For sure. I love the idea though.

I feel so much better though. I was planning on sleeping the whole weekend and just healing my ill self. Maybe it's the weekend. Maybe it's being done with mid terms. It could be that I met with my advisor and am no longer stressed about my schedule. Or maybe it's the perfect weather. Who knows? But I am in a good mood and I feel great.

"pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly... And if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place." William P. Young, "The Shack"

who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?

and who told the ocean you can only come this far?
who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?

Reasons why being sick in college is no fun at all:
-The health center is in the most ridiculous corner of campus near.... nothing.
-You are in no mood to write an empirical research design.
-Your whole class knows you are gem-ridden. Especiall when you have to take a test.
-You have to go downstairs and outside for food that just makes you sicker.
-The bathroom is not within lunging distance.
-You probably don't own a thermometer.

It's official. I am sick. Perfect weekend though. No football. No plans.

My roommate has been laughing at how pitiful I am. I told her I'm going to use her toothbrush. I win. Really though. I am a walking mess of contagious. I don't touch anything unless absolutely necessary. Which is hard considering my entire life is made up of public stuff. Public bathrooms. Public dining hall. Public transportation. It's ridiculous.

So instead of partying it up in Maringouin this weekend, I'm sleeping and resting and studying. Which reminds me:

MID TERMS ARE OVER.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

i was supposed to have been a jesuit priest

or a naval academy grad
that was the way that my parents perceived me

This song makes me laugh. Although I don't think my parents would have minded if I applied to the naval academy. Apparently you can get married very quickly there.

Today I spent an hour in front of CEBA, a building on my campus, and handed out surveys. Word of advice, look up the definition of a service learning class before you enroll in one. They usually involve a lot of extra time that you just don't have. Our service learning project involves partnering with the Student Health Center and informing others about the flu. Fun stuff.

Back up. If you go to LSU you know how annoying Free Speech Alley is. It's a part of the sidewalk in the middle of campus where any organization can set up camp and harrass you with unwanted fliers and stress balls. Well, I hate Free Speech Alley. Today, I basically brough Free Speech Alley to the other side of campus.

Armed with a handful of surveys, pens, and "prizes" I headed to an outdoor eating area to harrass my fellow students. Same scenario about fifty times:

I approach an innocent student just sitting down to enjoy their lunch. In my sweetest I-hate-this job voice I ask "Do you have a minute to take a survey for my class?" They give me the, I-hate-you-but-feel-bad look. "Sure." I say "You get a prize for taking it. You get to pick from a pen, a deck of cards, or a hand sanitizer pen" in my I-know-this-is-retarded-voice. They laugh and say no thanks. Ten minutes later I get a pizza stained survey back. An hour of this. Pure torture.

Also, I think I am getting sick. I'm going to buy a thermometer ASAP. Symptoms so far: sore throat, stuffy/runny nose, nausea, exhaustion, headache. Possible illnesses: sinus problems, cold, flu (swine or otherwise), or mid-terms. Who really knows?

"Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops." James 5:17-18

your love is relentless

and i'm glad for it
i'm glad for it

What is God teaching me lately? HUMILITY!

After hearing "The Kanye West Guide to Humility" at church a couple of weeks ago, I was interested. By the way, that was the actual title of the sermon. After hearing about it at Family Group this week, God's got my attention.

At some point this semester I stepped down from singing in the praise band. The dynamics weren't working and the band was way too big. God was able to use that as an example, to myself. Weird right? He is pointing out all the times I was humble and all the times (there are many more of these) that I wasn't humble.

For example, I have had two really great conversations with an agnostic friend lately. The frist was about a week ago. It was very shakey. I was caught off guard and did not feel like I had the words to say. The other conversation happened yesterday. It went great. I really felt like God was speaking through me.

What was the difference between these two conversations? Last week, I missed my quiet time. Yesterday, I spent around 30 minutes in the Word. That's the only change. Crazy right? What does this have to do with humility? Obviously, I am NOTHING without God. I have no words to speak. I can have no impact on the world, unless I am allowing God to impact me. Humility at its best.

You have no idea how much this is rocking my world. I am now intentionally looking for God in my world. It's amazing all the places He keeps showing up in.

"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither..." Psalm 1:3

it's in the silences

the words you never say
i see it in your eyes

Right now, I am listening to my roommate speak Spanish. Today my family group mom, Rebecca, tried to teach me a worship song in Spanish. Yay for Spanish!

I think that Louisiana really needs to get its weather situation together. I can not even believe that the high was 93 on October 12. Really? I am so sick of sweating everywhere I go. It's really gross. Also, rain rain go away. It has just been miserable for a few days.

Question of the week: Why were mid-terms invented?
A. To torture students
B. To force you to drop out so that they don't have to pay your TOPPS anymore.
C. To prove that you actually learned something (whatever)
D. All of the above.
E. I'm dropping out.

I'm not telling you my choice because of the knowledge that my mother reads this blog and would be pained to know that I am no longer an enrolled student at LSU.

Really though, I only have one test and I am stressing. Majorly. It's honors. And it's an essay. And I have all the possible questions. But I am still freaking out. I also have a biology test next week. Thankfully (and I never thought I would say this) there is no football this week. I have all day Saturday to study for this test. Whether or not I will, whole different story.

"When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:3

everybody wants a little piece of my time

but still i put you at the end of the line
how it breaks my heart to cause you this pain

I slept until 1 today. No joke. I can't remember the last time I did that. More importantly, I can't remember why I don't do it more often. Don't judge me about sleeping late on Sundays, by the way. My church is on Sunday nights.

By the way, my church is incredible. It is such a strong community of believers that really just gets it. Not committees, no business meetings, no moving your letter. This is a church that is based on the Bible and how Christ has instructed us to live together in this world. Tonight our preacher compared God to William Wallace in Braveheart. Love it.

I avoided homework as much as possible today. Spent some time at Wal-Mart. That was a huge mistake. Never go to Wal-Mart hungry. You will come out with four different varieties of breakfast foods. When I wake up in the morning, I will have the option to eat a granola bar, rice cake, pop tart, cereal, or grits. I don't even like breakfast.

Upside to being the only Yankees fan within a trillion miles of here: you get to gloat when they make it to the ALCS. Also, you get to convert your roomie. My roommate spent Friday night watching the game and texting me scores because I was out. Yeap. She's coming around.

God is revealing Himself to me. He is reminding me of the times I was madly in love with Him. He is reminding me that I am the one who has changed, not Him. But He is my one and only and I am learning that every day. When I put a Bible verse down here, it might not have to do with the blog. It might just be something I read in my quiet time that I am processing and want to share with you. if you haven't noticed, I've been in James for quite awhile.

"But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth." James 3:14

livin on a prayer

one, two, three, four!

i'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'cause i ain't been nuttin' but bad

Today was the most fun I've had in awhile. It was Fall Fest in the quad. Which is pretty epic. Free food. Step show. And more free stuff. What's better than that? Oh yeah, we got out of class early for it. We heard the distant roar of the Tiger Band drumline headed our way early on in class. About 20 minuted into it, the Fight Song started, right outside our door. The proff looked at us and said "Just go." Fantastic.

Tonight was pretty sweet itself. I'm exhausted and about to go to bed. Only to wake up in about 3 hours for ESPN Gameday. Yes. It's that important.

Fun Things That Made Today:
-Getting crunk in the car all over BR
-Setting off Michael's car alarm. Oops.
-Seeing Will at Wal-Mart.
-Coming up with my first ESPN sign:
tigErs
defenSe
stoPs
# oNe
-Ruining my first ESPN sign.
-Playing MASH
-Role Models. Nuff said.
-Being branded as Andy's toy. (I know have ANDY written on the bottom of one of my shoes)

Awesome friends - check
Amazing memories - check
Gameday sign - well you see... what had happened was...

hello, my friend

we meet again
it's been awhile

Something I am learning lately. Don't make someone a priority when they make you an option. It's a big one. It is so hard to remind yourself that you are worth someone's whole self. Don't get me wrong, my husband will love, trust, and worship God more than me. That is a definite.

However, my husband will love me more than anyone else on this planet. There will be no confusion. No difficult decisions in which I am one of several options. I have been through that. It's not worth it. The man God has for me is for me.

I think that's so hard for us to deal with, especially in college. We are supposed to be finding the loves of our lives. Marriage is no longer a joke or a fantasy. It is a reality. What is he picks me? Then we can live happily ever after. Ok. But what if he doesn't? Where does that leave you? Do you wait for him to change his mind and realize you're the "one." If he changes his mind once, it won't be that hard for him to change it again. By the way, this works both ways, ladies.

My advice tonight is simple. Chase after God with everything you have. Your entire heart. Only when God has your whole heart can he give it to another person. Oh, you thought that you did that? That you gave your heart away to the love of your life? That's awfully risky isn't it? We are human. We do make mistakes. We often give our hearts to the wrong one.

But if your heart is in God's hands, He has the power to give it to the man of your dreams. And He will. He wants to see you fall in love. I like to think that God enjoys watching the romantic comedy that he is directing here on Earth.

teach my eyes to recognize you

teach my lips to glorify you
guide my feet so i can find you

Offer still stands. Guess the lyrics win fame and fortune.

I made a new friend this week. He wants to be a doctor. He's cute. He loves Jesus. anybody see where I am going with this?

Today the high was 98.6 degrees. I wish I was kidding. It's October. Get it together mother nature. I am sick and tired of walking to and from class with sweat dripping. It's gross and I can't believe it still feels like August.

Today was pretty bland. I failed a quiz. Funny story, it was the same quiz I failed earlier this week. Who thinks to study the information on a quiz they just took? But my biology professor, in his infinite wisdom, decided since we all failed the quiz on Monday, he should just give us the same quiz today. Jerk. I got all the same answers wrong. It's so dumb.

I love my life these days. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

i've been lonely

i've been waiting for you
i'm pretending

New game. If you can correctly guess the song that the lyrics above are from, you win a shout out in the blog. Remember, this thing is gonna be famous one day.

What is the worst thing that you have ever or will ever experience in your academic life? Group projects. Hands down. And in college, they are even worse. Working around the schedules of other students is such a pain in the butt. You would almost just rather do the entire thing yourself.

I am currently in the middle of two group projects. One is killing me softly. The other, not so much. The first project consist of myself, an agnostic member of the AHA, a buddhist weight-lifter, a Chinese exchange student who barely speaks English, and some guy named Raul who goes by Beto and has yet to contribute anything. It's hectic. Things are being done last minute. I am going crazy. The person who chose our topic has dropped of the face of the Earth. We are doomed.

My other group is a few really good students. All are really intelligent and outspoken. That's our only downfall. Everyone has their opinion. But we only have 7 slides to work with. Something's gotta give.

One good thing about group projects is the people you get to meet. Today I had a long talk with an agnostic student. A long, civilized talk. Most of it actually involved me listening and trying to find out where he is. God is at work. Maybe? Yes!

"remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover a multitude of sins." James 5:20

Good shows to watch on TV (you have to be picky in college)
-American Idol
-Greek
-Modern Family
-Glee
-POST SEASON BASEBALL!

Lord i hope this day is good

i'm feeling empty
and misunderstood

Time management. That is the story of the day. How does a college freshman go to work from 8 to 10:15, class from 10:30 to 11:30, lunch from 11:30 to 12:30, class from 12:30 to 4:30, freshman vp meeting from 5:15 to 5:45, freshman praise band practice from 5:45 to 7:00, family group from 7 to 9, and still pass school? Hopefully we will find this out together.

To help myself in this endeavor, I am limiting myself to 10 minutes on Facebook a day. You heard me. I'm ending my addiction to fill it up with better things. Such as TAWG (time alone with God), exercise, and relationships. I am wasting so much of my life lost on the internet. There is so much I could be doing! Instead, I'm looking at pictures of my 6th grade boyfriend and trying to decide if he got cuter or not.

I am also writing out my schedule now. I have a calendar so I can see when all of my papers are due, when I have tests, and how long I have to study and such. I think visuals are the best. You have to be able to see everything laid out so you know where to start.

Also, about the song lyrics. They are in no way a reflection of my mood. I am just a big fan of shuffle on iTunes. You guys get whatever comes up.

I am working on this time thing because I miss my time with God. I am being reminded of the power of prayer. "... The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

Why rain is no fun in college:
-Umbrellas add weight to your already heavy backpack.
-Even when it has stopped raining at LSU, our "shady oaks and broad magnolias" have a constant supply of water to drop in your face.
-Rainboots are cute. Not every day though.
-Frizzy hair is not in style this season.

you're the one that i want

you are the only one
ooh, ooh, ooh honey

Well, this weekend was fabulous. I have so many stories to tickle your fancy. I'll keep this short though. Also, I am recommitting myself to you guys. Every day. I promise.

Toy Story 1 and 2 was part of my weekend. Yes, myself and some other college freshman made it out to see the double feature. Us and about 343 small children. It was classically funny and mildly disappointing. I am convinced that Disney Real D is just an excuse to charge you more money for movies and make you wear stupid glasses.

I realized something this weekend that made me sort of kind of upset. You really can't go home. It won't be the home you left. At my church and high school I was in a weird limbo between "old regular" and "one time visitor." Don't get me wrong. Home will always be home. Now it's just a matter of finding myself and my new place in my old home.

Today I am struggling with joy for others. "Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door." James 5:9

Top Reasons to Go Home:
-Your mom does your laundry.
-You can do no wrong.
-Old friends make life sweeter.
-You miss your new friends and realize that you actually genuinely like them.
-There's no place like home.
-You come back and make cheesy movie references for fun. :)

home sweet bunkie

you're looking into my heart.

i'm coming back to the heart of worship.
and it's all about you.

Today was a good day. Yes, I am finally out of my slump. There was nothing spectacular about today. But there was also nothing terrible about it. Which makes it great! Well. I did get an A on my sociology test! Yes, you heard me. An A!

Can I still complain a little? I am so sick of fast food! On days like today, it's all I eat. If I need to study during lunch I get lunch and bring it to my room. If I am at praise band late, then that's all that's open. I am going to be so fat!

Speaking of getting fat. I am not exercising. Ever. Who has the time? I talked to some girls today who survived their freshman year. Well, them and an extra 20 pounds of them. That makes me nervous. 20 pounds. That's not okay. So I am trying to eat a little healthier. Instead of Taco Bell for dinner, I bought a salad. A really gross salad. I am eating rice cakes and granola bars for breakfast and walking everywhere I go. I guess we will see where this goes.

So you are talking to a very content and optimistic girl. Tomorrow will be even better. i just know it.

Facebook bumperstickers make me laugh. These are some of my latest.

King of endless worth..

no one could express how much you deserve.
though i'm weak and poor, all i have is yours.
every single breath.

So wanna hear about another one of those days? Maybe it's just going to be one of those weeks. I'm not really sure. Today started out great. I got to sleep in and did great on my Kinesiology lab. Now the trouble starts. Honors 2000. Why was this class even invented? To make little girls cry.

We have to sign up for volunteer hours. One of the professors (we have 4) gave me a clipboard of a schedule of available times. Surprisingly most of the times are taken up by her students. While I am trying to figure out a time I can work, she takes the clipboard and gives it to one of her students telling me "He didn't get to sign up for his hours." NEITHER DID I. Jerk. I had a test in 5 minutes. I left and cried. I went to take my sociology test. 250 people saw me walk in crying. The test was really hard too. Not so sure about it.

On top of it, I have a test in organic chemistry. Funny story. I'm not taking an organic chemistry class. For somereason my biology professor thinks it's ok to use other classes' curriculums. News flash. It's not.

My new favorite web site is www.mylifeisaverage.com. It's way better than fmylife.com.

Examples:
Today I was using eye drops for an eye infection. I missed my eye with the second drop, and reached up frantically to wipe it away, afraid it would run into my eye. Then I realized that's the whole point. MLIA
Today something touched my toe while I was in bed. I was about to jump out when I noticed that it was just my other toe. MLIA
Today we got our math tests back after being graded. One of my answers I knew was wrong, so I had drawn a stick figure next to it with the caption "this is a ninja in disguise. He is here to guard my answer from the Red Pen." Next to my answer my teacher wrote "you need a new ninja." He had graded my test in blue. MLIA
Today, me and my friend were walking around our high school looking at all the campaign posters for student council. we saw one poster that announced "Free drinks on me!" with an arrow pointing down at the drinking fountain. I know who I'm voting for. MLIA
Today in speech class we had to give a speech about our role model. The teacher proceded to shoot us with a nerf gun everytime we said um, ah, etc. Best teacher ever. MLIA

it's hard to believe that i couldn't see...

So, if you know me at all, you know I really want one thing in life. To get married and raise a family. That would be my dream profession and position in life. Please don't tell me I am too smart to be a housewife. If we had smarter mothers out there raising their kids instead of working 12 hour days, our society might be in better shape. By the way, this is a picture of my lovely family group.

Well, lately I have been coming to grips with the idea of being single. For a long time. Let me explain.

I have a very strong heart for youth. I know that God has called me into this ministry. I also have a strong heart for missions. Did you know that you can combine the two? There are missionary's kids all over the world that go to church and have no youth ministers. What a tragedy! Well, in order to do something like this, I will have to consider the possibility of being single for a long time. Unless I can find a man whose heart is also in missions. They are few and far between. They do exist though. I hope :)

Speaking of boys, another cutie in the laundry room. I feel like doing laundry every day just to see who I bump into. Except I will be broke. In like a week.

No car updates. My poor old dinosaur is still immobile.

Tips for 2010:

Girls, the MRS degree can wait. At least until your junior or senior year :)

Boys, be men!

Buy a corkboard and hang your jewelry on thumbtacks. It's cute and practical.

If you have bed bugs, wash your sheets. It makes them go away.

"Your money, your singleness, marriage, talents, your time. They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is divine."

i will come to you in need.

Today would be qualified as one of "those" days. Wake up for church. walk about 10 minutes to my car. Car will not start. Ugh. I have no idea what's wrong. But it sounds like the battery. Whatever. Luckily Casey decided to come with me today so we just took her car.

Got back and decided to go to the Union for lunch. Also decided to ride my bike for the first time since I've been here. Really for the first time ever. Turns out, the back tire wobbles profusely. Also, cut my foot on the pedal. Ouch. I'm super glad Iget to walk all over campus tomorrow. Also, my key broke off in the lock. Really?

Meantime, Casey and her car genius boyfriend both think it's the battery. Fast forward. My friend Michael comes over to try to jump it. The only problem is there are cars on either side of me. And it's not like I can just move my car. I decide it's time to call in the pros. Introducing Uncle Danny and Uncle Jim. My wonderful uncles who bought me a new battery and drove all the way out here to save the day. They put the shiny new battery in. Turns out. It's not the battery. Yeap. No joke.

So now I have no car. I am never touching my bike again. And my foot hurts. What a day right?
But you are talking to the eternal optimist here. Tomorrow will be better. This week is going to be great.

Things that made this day great:
My wonderful friend Michael who tried his best to help me out.
A Cosby Show marathon on TV.
Pastabilities.
My best friend Chris sending me a video of a talking parrot.
Feeling prepared for my test tomorrow.
The best uncles in the world. Even though my car is still immobile. Thanks guys. :)
My roommate yelling that she just got a butt cramp. Then yelling at me for laughing, which made her laugh, which made the cramp worse.
LSU moved up to number 7 in the rankings.
Colbie Callait and her infinite wisdom.
Coming up with ways to explain why it looks like I got punched in the face. (Removing a temporary tattoo just doesn't cut it)

the land of the free and the home of the TIGERS!

you deal with things that you don't have to

Tonight was not as bad as I planned. I didn't study from 4:30 to now, as planned. Instead I got home around 4:45 and laid down for... not sure. Meredith woke me up to invite me to the BCM to play boards games. Temptation! Me, being the studious (and very far behind) girl that I am, I declined. Until she told me she was going to eat. My stomach reminded me that the dining hall is closed. And hey, girl's gotta eat. We're running low on Spaghetti-O's in the dorm.


So we met up with Sweet Nathan (That's my nickname for our friend who lives across the street. Chalk it up to being in Ukraine I guess.) and went to the Union for some Pastabilities. My new favorite place to eat. You get to pick everything you want in your pasta and then they cook it. And it's always wonderful. But, apparently everyone else on campus agrees. It took forever!


By the time we got our food, Meredith and Sweet Nathan have to be at the BCM. Not in the mood to eat in the dorm, I decided to go with them for a little while. We went. We ate. We played Ultimate Ping-Pong. The sun started to go down.


Now I have to decide if I'm going to stay for game night. If I don't leave within the next 10 minutes, it's gonna get dark and I'm going to have to wait until someone comes home. BTW, its 12:17 and Meredith still isn't back. Good thing I left when I did! I was the responsible adult and came home to study. And that I did for many long hours.


Tomorrow is football so I can erase the awful memory of all this studying. Ick. Too bad I have to do it again on Sunday. Expect a video tomorrow. Maybe this time I will leave out Hey Fightin' Tigers. :)

New Additions to GameDay Playlist:
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Livin' On a Prayer - Bon Jovi
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Halftime (Stand up and get Crunk) - Ying Yang Twins
Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

she can't walk but she's trying

What will I be doing this weekend? Well, of course the LSU game has my full attention and excitement. How could it not? But that's just one day (literally, I will spend all day Saturday tailgating and at the game).

What will I be doing Friday and Sunday? Will I be at the volleyball game for priority points? Will I be visiting family nearby? Will I be out exploring all the random things Baton Rouge has to offer? Will I be watching movies and eating ice cream with the girls? Nope.

Instead, I will be studying. Reading. Writing. Exciting right? Not. But I am catching up. The closer I get, the faster I read. I am very excited to be done with Jared Diamond and his theories. Yes they are theories, not facts. Why we are studying them in school, I wish I could tell you. Regardless, I am almost done but not quite yet.

So, this weekend has been designated catch up weekend. Plus, first test studying. The flash cards have been made. The coffee is ready. The dance party playlist has been set. Really, how can you study for hours without occasionally breaking out into dance? Gotta keep that blood flowing.

But Saturday will be good. I can feel it in the air. The RVs will be here tomorrow morning. How can you not be excited? I can usually hear and see them from my window. It inspires me to study faster. :)

Tips for 2010:

When you are in a discussion class and nobody is discussing, chances are, you are not the only one who did not read the book.

Do your dishes immediately. Or at least rinse them out.

Don't bring Uno cards to work. They will get confiscated by your psycho boss.

i miss patrick...

Patrick Swayze died. Oh no. Who's going to get Baby out of the corner now? I'm distraught about this. Patrick and Heath. It's tragic.

I took a nap today. That's right, I spent an hour of free time asleep. I wasn't reading, studying, writing, or running around. And let me tell you, it was blissful. Until my phone vibrated and I was rudely woken up to go to class. Unfortunate. But that one hour was fantastic. I'm going to be looking into more of those in the future.

Two weeks from right now I will be writing to you from my own bedroom. I can't wait. I am loving LSU more and more every day. But I am also missing home. It's a weird inverse relationship that I don't really understand. I think it's healthy though. Imagine if I got here and never missed home and never called my parents and never reminisced about high school. Heartless? I would imagine so.

However, I do love my family. I do miss my own bed. I also miss my home church, That's a big one. I can't wait wait to go home and sit in the same place I always have with the same people I always have. But enough of that for now. It's still two weeks away.

Tonight I am talking to a friend about losing a family member. I am listening to the Black Eyed Peas. I am having mini dance parties with my roommate. I am reading a book about the collapses of societes that haven't actually collapsed. Tonight's a good night. But, in case you thought I had forgotten, it's almost Saturday night again. Yes the phenomenon that we call Saturday night at Death Valley is coming back around again.

People you should call once a week:
Your parents
Your grandparents
Your best friends
Your friends that are sad
Your siblings
Friends with swine flu (or any flu I guess)
Family you have on campus

I know that's a lot of phone calls. But life is short. People are worth it. I'm being mushy. I know. I'll control myself better next time.

sorry... again...

So I'm sorry again for missing a post. But I'm a little behind in reading. Really a lot behind in reading. Honestly though, really? I am so sorry Honors 2000 and Dr. Rouse but you are not my only class. 200 pages of reading in four days is not okay.

So, it's Tuesday. I am exhausted already. This week is going to be more hectice than the others. My first test is next Monday. What's more nervewracking than that? Maybe my second test being next Tuesday. Yea. It's that kind of week. But it's all going to be okay. Somehow I know that for sure.

So remember how we talked about overscheduling and priorities? Well I have officially demoted myself from praise band singer to praise band power point operator. Less hours. The same ministry opportunites at youth groups every week. I feel like this is going to be a much better fit for me.

Things that haven't changed since I got to college:
I am still seeking God.
Hello Beautiful by the Jonas Brothers is still my favorite song ("I could go across the world and neve be satisfied if I couldn't see those eyes" come on!)
I still have my traditional New York Yankees calendar.
I am still barefoot at inappropriate moments.
I still never wear makeup.
I still love my best friends at their schools around the country.
I am still dead set on returning to summer missions (probably in Ukraine).

Tip for 2010:
Grow up in college for sure. But don't change too much!

i got a feelin'

do people camp out at your school? i think not.

Tonight is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday!

Just to enlighten you, I am not the only one freaking out about this. There are a trillion RVs parked all over campus. They are just waiting for tomorrow. The only difference between me and them, I live here!

Tonight I hung out with some of the best people in the whole world. Emily and Christine are by far the most enjoyable people I've hung out with yet. We went to George's in Baton Rouge. It's like this little hole-in-the-wall place where they don't have waitresses. The menu is on the wall and you write your own order on your ticket and give it to the bartender. It's pretty cool actually.

Getting back to the car is another story. It's one of those under the interstate kind of places. This just adds to its appeal. Have I mentioned it's been raining for 3 days? Well, a small lake has formed next to Emily's car. Me and Emily clear it fine and are waiting for Christine to jump. She does. It's a mistake. She lands in a huge mud puddle, spashing all the purities of Baton Rouge water all over us. Now she's trying to climb onto a divider to get over. It's hopeless. We are all laughing so hard, nobody can help her. Finally she gives up and walks through the puddle. Best part? The drunk people outside of George's watching us, thinking we're just as drunk as they are.

Then, after being thoroughly stuffed by the best meal I've had in awhile, we needed something else to do. Cold Stone anyone? Duh!

That only lasts a little while. Now we are faced with a decision, fight through TigerLand to go hang out with a bunch of drunks? Or go home. TigerLand consists of three bars and one huge parking lot. Let me just tell you, none of us drink. TigerLand is only fun if your sober, when there's a bunch of you. Three... not so much. Also, we drove past TigerLand. Packed. No joke. There was a line of cars from here to Lake Charles, waiting to get into a parking lot that was packed solid, just to have to wait in line for an hour to get into a crowded bar. No thank you!

So they went to Christine's sister's house. I decided to come home and rest up for my big day tomorrow! I did just receive a text that made my day "We decided that we love you :-) you are by far the easiest person to hang out with!" Um future besties? I'm feeling it.

Gameday Playlist:
LSU Hey Fightin' Tigers - Golden Band from Tigerland
Louisiana Saturday Night - Mel McDaniel
Put On (the clean version!) - Young Jeezy
LSU Rhapsody - Golden Band...
LSU Tiger Rag - Golden Band...
LSU Pre game and Touchdown - Golden Band...
Callin' Baton Rouge - Garth Brooks
LSU Geaux Tigers Cheer/Chinese Bandits - Golden Band...
Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy
LSU Drumline Cadences - Golden Band...
Hey! Baby - Bruce Channel
Down at the Twist and Shout - Mary Chapin Carpenter

His joy comes with the morning!

Tomorrow is Friday. The next day is Saturday! FOOTBALL!


I'm so unnecessarily excited about this football game. But let's get real, I had the time of my life in the Sterlington High School baseball and basketball student sections.


In less than 48 hours, I will be in Tiger Stadium. Death Valley. In the student section. For the home opener. With 92,000 of my closest friends. I'm at LSU, guys. This is for real!


The lights were on at the stadium tonight. I swear you can see them from miles away. It doesn't even matter that you have homework due tomorrow or work in the afternoon. The lights are on in Tiger Stadium. Everything's gonna be OK :)


How very "We Are Marshall' of me.

Today we made our weekly trip to Wal-Mart. The unhappiest place in the world. I really just want to fight someobdy and their grandma every time I go in there. That's beside the point. You know how when people get out on their own, they go crazy and do all the things their parents wouldn't let them do? Well, I'm going through that.

No, this isn't going to be about my first binge drinking experience. I am going through this rebellious thing with the food I'm buying. Smores Pop-Tarts. Pizza Lunchables. Popcicles. Spaghetti-os.

These are things I wasn't always allowed to have as a child. Now, being the adult that I am, I buy them all the time. It's a problem considering I get zero exercise. But really, who has time to run down to the UREC every day? All those people who don't go to the BCM obviously. Pagans.

I'm just kidding guys. I also bought some undergarments today. Boys, cover your ears. Did you know they come in size numbers instead of sm, md, lg? Not me. I had to call my mother, in Wal-Mart to ask her what size underwear I am. This is your genuine, authentic, big girl right here.

Tips for 2010;
Know your underwear size! In numbers and words.
You can eat whatever you want now, just make sure you don't gain the freshman 15, 20, 30, or more.
Ellen Degeneres is the new judge on American Idol. Not a tip. Just an awesome fact!
You probably won't have much time for TV watching. Even if Ellen is on more than once a day now.

all she wants to do is DANCE DANCE DANCE!

How to stay busy in college.

Go to the BCM. It's simple. You will also become very experienced with filling out paperwork.

Steve Masters has this crazy way of making you the busiest person you have ever been. And you will never see it coming. When I started going to the BCM, a ministry of over 300 people, I did not expect what is happening now.

I sing in the freshman praise band. I am working with an upperclassman to learn how to sing harmonies. (Funny how you get volunteered to do things you don't know how to do) I was just a member of the Transitions Team (this is a team that minsters to high school juniors and seniors before they come to college). Now I am leading it. I'm in a Freshman Family Group. So amazing!

Crazy right? That's not including Freshmen Council and TNT on Tuesdays and all the other random things that pop up. Kudos to Steve Masters for not allowing me to sit on my butt this semester.

I know what you're thinking. OVERBOOKED!

But here's something you don't know. I'm flexible. Not in the human pretzel kind of way. In the, I'm not too proud to step down from something kind of way. I've made my list of priorities. If something starts to get too stressful, the list just gets smalller. It's that simple. I really am sticking to this plan for this year. I tend to get so busy living life that I don't have time to just live life. That's one of my goals for college. Take time to stop and smell the roses. And the garbage.

Oh wait, I can't smell the garbage. Because they collected it. At 1:30 AM. AGAIN. I still don't understand this stupidity. Who told them that is OK? I'm writing up a mean note to leave on the dumpsters. Not even joking. I'll take a picture of it before I tape it out there.

Also, my parents are coming to see me tomorrow! Don't tell, but I am so excited! I'm not going to lie, I miss home. Not in the homesick way. Trust me, I don't have time in the day to be homesick. But it will be very nice to see them.

Tips for 2010:
Get involved. Not too involved though. Be careful. Know your limitations.
It is one hundred percent OK to wish it was Saturday night at Tiger Stadium! Even if it is Sunday morning.
Sometimes, doing the reading just isn't worth it.
Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize.

i know the sun's still shinin' when i close my eyes.

So a ton of stuff happened today. I'll keep it short.

Surrendered to ministry.
Joined a praise band.
Signed up to work my first DNow.

Good enough? Not for me.

I realized today that I am supposed to work with youth. My heart is with youth. God has given me the ability to understand the heart of teenagers. God wants me with youth. This is so incredible to know! I finally know just a little bit of God's plan for my life. How incredible!

I spent about an hour talking to a female youth minister today. This is so important because I am still trying to figure out how women fit into the ministry. This women is incredible. She was in youth ministry in a time when women weren't expected to be. Women were supposed to be pastors' wives. Not pastors. She helped me a lot and reassured me that God would bring more of His plan into focus as time goes on.

She also signed me up to work my first DNow. Yay! What a way to start my career on youth ministry. I am so excited for this. I really feel like God has given me a lot to offer high school girls especially in light of the last month or so.

And now I'm in a praise band. It's a freshman praise band. I'm really excited. Our main focus is ministering to youth. (I didn't know this until after auditions tonight. Anyone else see God working?) It's an incredible opportunity to use my gifts for Him and His Glory.

Also, my scab fell off of my burn. This is just icing on my good news cake.

Tips for 2010:
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE! I promise you it will take care of itself. Especially if your faith is in the God of the universe. Hello! He's got this! Don't freak out about majors or colleges or careeers. God is going to reveal Himself in His time.

"And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

back to reality. oh there goes gravity.

Roomie's home. Weekend over. Class tomorrow.

Funny story about last night. Apparently around the age of 18 you lose the ability to stay up all night and play ping pong. That's me. The lock-in didn't even start until 1. Me and my ride left at 1:45. We're ancient. We know.

A little background info: at LSU your TigerCard is everything. It's your debit card, your student id, your meal plan, and half of your key to get into your dorm. Well, I couldn't find mine yesterday. Not wanting to keep my ride waiting, I left without it figuring someone would be able to let me in.

I got back to the dorm around 1:50 and knocked on the front door. The girl at the desk politely let me in, thank goodness (they really aren't supposed to do that). I still need this card to get in the stairwell. I ask her if she can let me in. Turns out, she doesn't live in our dorm and has no way to let me in. Call my RA. Phone's off. Roomie is out of town. Great.

The girl at the desk has apparently never run into this before and has no idea what to do. She tells me my RA works the desk at 6 and can let me in then. Um. 6 AM? Yeah, right. Finally I remember that one of the RAs on the first floor goes to the BCM. We call her and Claire saves the day. Imagine for a second though, me sleeping in the lobby.

Spent the evening with a girl from my family group and a bunch of her friends. That was a lot of fun except for the part where I had to come home to find a parking spot. OH MY GOODNESS. I drove around for half an hour trying to find a spot. Not by myself though. Me and half of LSU were on the scavenger hunt from Hell. Also, my gas light came on somewhere in that. Great. I'm going to run out of gas looking for a parking spot.

I finally resort to parking in communter parking. I call Campus Police and ask them if they have any better suggestions. Guess what. They don't. As I'm getting out of the car I look across the street and notice one empty spot. In front of that is a sign that says Residential Parking Only. That's me! I consider that a gift from a very understanding God.

Tips for 2010:
On Labor Day, when everyone is coming home from break, leave your car in a good spot.
Never, under any circumstances, leave your dorm without your student ID.
Don't be afraid to talk to the cute guy in the laundry room. It's very Ross and Rachel.
Be careful not to shrink your pillowcase in the dryer. Not a whole lot you can do about that.
Stay away from your floormates with any flulike sympotoms at all.

family time

So I was up late last night for the game. And I was up early this morning for church. Told you I would be. Trust me, it wasn't easy. I was exhausted this morning and didn't feel all that great. I think it might have to do with the lack of sleep plus all the crap I've been eating. Not that I didn't appreciate all the food Mrs. Pam had for us last night. :)

Anyway, I drove to New Roads today to see my family. No, not my parents. My PawPaw, some aunts and uncles, and some assroted cousins. It felt kind of moveish to be getting together on Sunday for lunch with the family.

I'm not going to lie, it was nice to see my family today. Three of my cousins are at LSU and we still haven't run into each other. But now I have their numbers so maybe lunch in the Union?

I did some free laundry and ate a lot of real food. Just stocking up for the week I guess. I even got to surprise one of my cousins with my "all-grown-upness." We haven't seen in each other in basically forever. So when he asked me where I was living these days, he was surprised as anything to find out it was LSU. After some couting years and figuring out dates, I convinced him that yes, I am actually in college. As if you can't see it all over my sleep-depreived face.

Tonight is a lock-in and youth rally for high school seniors. Yay for never being bored. This will be my first encounter with youth ministry since being a college student. I'm nervous and excited. Maybe I'm way cooler now that I'm in college. :)

Tips for 2010:
Visit your family all the time!
Watch the Disney Channel even though you're an "adult". The Jonas Brothers are still cute. I promise.
Naps are your best friend. Especially when you've been up all night and then have to do it again.
Cafeteria food is still cafeteria food. It's nice to eat homecooked food every once and awhile.
Don't buy a mesh laundry bag. They rip.

geaux tigers!

Funny story about last night. I am fast asleep in my room. My roommate is awake on her phone. All of a sudden I hear a noise that sounds like a building collapsing. I jump and ask my conscious roommate what it was. Any guesses?

The garbage trucks.

Any guesses on what time it was?

One AM.

What the crap? When, in the entire history of the world, has the garbage man come at 1 in the morning? Who does that?

Of course our windows are right above the dumpsters. How ridiculous. And of course it takes them forever to dump an entire dorm's worth of garbage. Did I mention this is 1 AM? In the middle of the week.

My dorm has signs posted everywhere warning us the electricity will be turned off tomorrow between 6:30 and 10:30 AM. Who cares? I promise. Nobody will be awake.

So it's labor day weekend. Awesome keg parties!

Just kidding.

But, I do have my entire dorm room to myself. It's pretty crazy. Basically, my entire campus went home this weekend. Not I. I am spending tonight watching Disney Channel and just relaxing after a crazy week. (you should know I paused here to take a quiz on Moodle that I almost forgot about) Tomorrow is homework day, despite misleading advice from a well-meaning junior. Tomorrow night I'm going to watch the game with my BCM peeps. Sunday is church and then Paw-Paw Don's for lunch and laundry. Both free. Sunday night we will have a lock-in at the BCM for high school seniors. Monday is another relaxing day, probably after not much sleep. Then back to the daily grind.

Amazing that whole paragraph is fitting into one weekend. My room is such a mess. It looks nothing like the picture at the bottom of this page. It's the thought that counts right? Maybe I'll insert a cleaning spree somewhere in that paragraph.

tips for 2010:
Schedule a light Friday. You'll thank me later.
Take advantage of quiet nights alone. They don't come too often.
Don't think you're a loser for sitting home one night on the weekend.
Go to bed early when you get the chance.

me and ally want to get married. to boys...

Fuuny things I've seen that make college interesting.

A man riding a bike with a dog on his shoulder.
A person on a unicycle.
Bales of hay in the quad.
Multiple people singing. Out loud. With their headphones on.
High school students at the Union pretending to be in college.
An old man in the Union. Either asleep or dead. Really can't be sure around here.

I'll keep you posted.

This weeekend a bunch of people are going home. Not this lady. Nope. You are encountering a genuine, authentic, big kid.

Actually, I just don't feel like making the drive. I appreciate that it's a long weekend. But it's a pretty short visit if you ask me. Plus, there's so much to do around here this weekend. One thing I have planned is to chaperone a high school lock-in a the BCM. You know what this tells me?

I'm not in high school anymore!
Yes. It's actually true. My professors no longer feel the need to tell us about assignments. They just post them on Moodle assuming we'll run into them. It's a problem. Because sometimes I don't check Moodle until right before I go to bed. Then I find out I have a project due tomorrow. Great.

A good reason not to Facebook in class. Your teacher might have a bonus quiz at the end. Even if you were kind of paying attention, you probably won't know the answer. Luckily, the kid next to you might look it up and announce it to the room. Not that this happened to me or anything :)

By the way. The weather has been exceptionally nice since I have lived here. This almost certains that I'm going to be unprepared for the next torrential downpour that gets us. Who needs umbrellas? Not this big girl!

Tips for 2010:
If you think you might have some infectious disease on your leg, go to the student health center. It's free.
People watch often. Especially at a big school. It's fun.
Don't tell your mom that you and your best friend want to get married within the year unless you specify that it is to boys. You might concern her.
Volunteer! It keeps you grounded.
Clorox everything. All the time. Especially when swine flu is making its way down your hall.